I woke up this morning on the 4th day of 2022 in what I am going to to call a mini existential crisis. Or a Taye version of that. I literally woke up and thought
…Why have I not written on my blog in months? Nine months to be exact. I actually leapt over to my Laptop in a freezing morning panic, because I I’m one of those people who absolutely cannot sleep with the heater on, to confirm that still have a blog.
Great news! I actually do. Still have a blog that is.
I guess in the realm of things I subconsciously knew that I did still have a blog, but un-subconsciously, (yes I know that’s not a word) forgot about it… Like actually forgot about it! And that’s where the mini existential crisis comes in.
My blog is what has led me or shall I say what started me in the career and in the life that I have now… And I actually forgot about it (insert slapping forehead emoji).
For me, once that realization hit, I was mind blown.
I guess I can blame this on the pandemic and the last two years of what’s been going on in all of our lives. Maybe that is the issue. However this leads me to the question of taking back control… Control of ourselves, our thoughts, our minds, our lives.
I recently got a haircut. This is something I tend to do when I feel a bit out of control, I change my hair. Those who know me and have known me for the past decade know that I have probably changed my hair at least 15 times. I’m talking blonde, light brown, short, bob, lob, braids, extensions, weave, long, highlights, low lights, super long and now back to short… and that’s just what I can remember. With all that said, about a month ago I woke up in a panic after just having changed my hair this past summer. Yes like many of us, I too succumb to the curtain bang trend. And yet again I needed another change. Thus a big chop. OK I’m being a bit dramatic, not all my hair, but I did take 7 inches off and that is quite a lot in the grand scheme of things. I could not be happier. I love my hair right now, absolutely love it! It’s everything I ever wanted.. Yet I still woke up today in a mini existential crisis. I was trying to think of some cute word to tie my name into that existential crisis but at the moment I just can’t, so we will leave it at…
“Taye’s mini existential crisis”
And with all that said, this post is not meant to have any grand solutions that will help me, or any of you for that matter, in the event that you too are having a mini existential crisis. This is just what was on my mind.
I have no idea what the answer to an existential crisis is. I don’t even know if I like the praise existential crisis for this situation because it implies chaos. Maybe that’s just me not wanting to face the potential looming chaos that may or may not be happening.
All I’m here to say is I’m back, I think. No pressure. I’m back may mean a new blog post tomorrow, it may mean a new blog post at the beginning of February. What I can tell you with certainty on this fourth day of January 2022, is that I’m just going try to be better. Not better than anyone else per se, just better than myself.
Love you and hope to see you here soon.